So I’m not quite sure how much you know about spiritual warfare, angels, or demons. Truth be told, I don’t really know a whole lot either. But God has really been working in me the past couple of days on this issue and I figured that I’d share my journey with you! So sit back and enjoy:) But also read at your own risk-God might just start moving your heart and teaching you new things in this area!
So it all started a few days ago. I was looking at our bookshelf trying to decide what book to read. First off I love reading and I haven’t really read a whole lot since I’ve been here, so I had this huge desire to read something. As I was looking over my books, I couldn’t decide between Ted Dekker’s Black or Frank Peretti’s This Present Darkness. I was really leaning towards Black because it’s one of my FAVORITE books ever, but at the last second I decided on This Present Darkness. I’ve picked this book up numerous times in the past, but I never really got past the fourth chapter. So I figured I’d try starting it yet again. And this time was completely different. I couldn’t put the book down. On Thursday night, Friday, and Saturday I spent hours reading. I couldn’t stop. Every chapter brought on new excitement and anticipation on what would happen next.
Ok I have to stop here and put this disclaimer out. I am not saying that Frank Peretti’s This Present Darkness is all anyone needs to know about spiritual warfare. It isn’t all the answers and I do not believe that or am I in any way trying to convey that. I’m just saying that it is a great place to start. It’s an intriguing fiction novel that keeps the reader on his/her seat not knowing what will come next. With that said, here’s the rest of my story!
So anyway, the first really cool thing that happened was on Friday night. As I was laying in my bed, I got this conviction to speak out loud different demons that were in the ComLife and even more specifically in my room. I spoke with a new boldness knowing my authority was in Christ. And I said out loud, “Demon of _____, you have no authority in me! In Christ’s name I command you to leave this house!” Ok so I have no idea if that’s the “proper” way or whatever to go about doing this, but I can say without a doubt that something was different in me. I spent the next minutes/hour just praising God and all he is. I felt a new power within me and I knew that something had changed. It was incredible and it was DEFINTELY God!!!
On Saturday I woke up feeling great. I went back to my book and kept reading and reading until I had finished. It was amazing! I know that God used this book and this weekend to really open my eyes to something that I’ve never really opened my eyes to before. Before I continue I really push that EVERYONE should read this book. Once again it is not the answers to spiritual warfare, but it’s a great tool to use to get your mind thinking!
And that’s my story. Pretty cool huh?! Well yes it it, but crazily enough it gets even better. As I opened my email after reading This Present Darkness, I had an update alert from a world racer at training camp. Here’s some background info for you. The World Race is a facet of AIM where participants go to 11 countries in 11 months. If you want more info on it, feel free! Before we send these people out, they come to AIM to have a training camp. During training camp they get to know their team, get to know themself, and truly get to know God and see Him move! As I was saying I got an update alert that one of the participants going out on the World Race June had posted a blog. And I opened it up and read an amazing blog-God is truly amazing! And this blog is what’s posted below. If you want to know more about Taylor Griffith (the writer of this blog), please feel free to go to his page.
A Beautiful Mess
Eighteen years ago I became ensnared by the attractive web of hardcore porn. I was a six year old Christian and the 18 years that followed have been full of many different struggles. I mean, I’m sure we can all attest to having mommy and daddy issues, issues of self-worth, loneliness, insecurity, and hopelessness. I experienced all of these and more. It was all big stuff, but the porn, that eventually grew into a drive for sex, continued to be a CRUSHING burden with no escape in sight. I did experience growth and success in areas of my life and even bared fruit in the name of Christ, but I never experienced deliverance, deliverance that we all read so much about in the Bible. That is until this Thursday, April 2nd, on AIM’s training grounds.
After five days of experiencing freedom from my generational family sin, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, the need for female attention, and a laundry list of others, we began talking about spiritual gifts like: prophecy, healing, visions, and intercession. After Pastor Mark finished speaking, he invited any member of our 34 person team, who wanted more of what God had to offer, even if we weren’t sure about all this stuff, to come up and be prayed for. I knew that I wanted to receive any gifts that God would give me, so I walked up, trying the whole time to fight off the doubts that continued to grow in my mind. You see, after experiencing days full of emotional freedom, and a pouring and softening of my heart, it was strange that on this night I didn’t feel a thing, nothing at all. As I’m standing there, waiting, Matt, one of our leaders, looks up at me from praying over a friend. He gives me a huge smile and points at me while mouthing the word, “You!” At this point I knew it was time to get down to bitness.
Continue reading at your own “religious” risk, because I’m about to blow the top off that box you’ve kept God in all these years! I’m not really sure why I fell, but as Matt and Pastor Mark began praying over me, I lost my footing and Matt slowly lowered me to the ground. They never stopped praying, even for a second. Pastor Mark walked off to tend to others, while my brother Will walked over to replace him. At this point I had begun to shake sporadically . I would experience short bursts of intense shaking, or a long sting of gentle shaking. My left hand began to take on the form like that of a stroke victim and my mouth was locked in some form a “O” shape. I began to feel something moving in my arm and mouth as well. It was as if my body were numb and asleep, without the needling pain that usually accompanies such sensations. As my convulsions grew bigger and more intense, I started sputtering. The men praying over me were encouraging me to speak in tongues and inviting the Holy Spirit to work through me. All the while I was thinking, “Hmm, this is getting pretty weird, but I guess I’m starting to speak in tongues!”
Matt heard my sputters and urged me to speak louder. Will was beginning to praise God, but his heart was telling him to, “Rebuke!” Will was confused, “No God, this is a good thing! He’s speaking in tongues and your Spirit is on him. This can’t be bad!” But his heart continued to shout, “Rebuke!” He was getting frustrated, so he opened his eyes. When he did this, what he saw and did after his eyes were open confirmed what his heart was saying. At the base of my throat was a giant lump and when Will put his hand on the lump, I think we all knew at that moment it wasn’t the Holy Spirit I was manifesting, but a demon! “Holy s–t…it’s a demon,” I remember thinking. The intensity of Matt’s prayers increased and I could literally feel the air around me growing thicker as my convulsions and their prayers grew in paralleled unison. Once Matt felt that it was a demon, he began asking God to give him its name. He prayed louder and harder! “Give me a name Lord! I need the name!” That was all Will needed to hear and he finally confirmed his heart with his mouth and shouted, “I rebuke you!” Matt immediately followed that with the demon’s name, “Sexual shame!”
My eyes shot open! My body took on a mind of its own! I had no control, but I felt everything. Anger, so much anger! Their hands had been on me, but they lost their grip as I tried to pull away. I started for the left side of the room, but by this time they had tackled me back to the ground. I was clawing the ground and screaming, “Nooo! Nooo! Nooo!” With a guttural scream that came from something deeper than myself. It was full of fear, power, and hate. I was literally dragging the two of them across the room. They never stopped praying! Time seemed to slow down and the two to three minutes after the demon manifested itself seem much longer now as I’m remembering it. By this time two more guys on our team joined Matt and Will in holding me down and praying over me. I remember seeing Warren and AJ with their faces taking on intense forms of prayer as the demon was trying to fight them off. Four men were trying to hold me down and I was still dragging them as I fought. I was so strong! Then there came the turning point…
I literally felt a weight come over me, that was so heavy, I can only assume was the hand of God. The demon was powerless, but I could still feel the intense hatred! Somehow during this time they flipped me onto my back and Matt had begun praying into my face as loudly and powerfully as he could muster. The demon looked him square in the face and the hate grew more intense! It was hard to believe! My screams of, “Nooo!”, turned to curses of, “F–k you! F–k you! F–k you!” They never stopped praying. The process climaxed and the Spirit of God was upon me. The demon had no choice, but to flee, he was beaten.
I immediately felt an incredible peace. I was sweating, hoarse, and exhausted beyond measure, but there was a giant smile on my face. I knew and felt God’s love in the deepest parts of my soul. I had been given freedom, a word that has become the theme of my life these past days. I finally recognized the power of God’s people and the strength he’s put in all us Christians! The box of religion that I’ve always put him in was laying pieces around me. “Thank you Father,” I breathed.
— If you have any questions, I encourage you to ask! This is pretty big stuff for most of us. It was big for me! But I believe that our God is capable of anything! He loves you and wants you to know that He sent His son to set you free!
As I said, God is truly amazing! This was the perfect end to the beginning for me. I know that this stuff can get pretty creepy and scarry. I won’t lie. As I read Taylor’s blog I was petrified. I could only think, “Wow this stuff doesn’t happen in real life! It only happens in movies and books.” But I know that God is bigger and better and has WAY more authority. I have nothing to fear! For I know God is on my side. So if this blog brings you fear, doubt, or any of another hundred of feelings I ask that you take it to the Lord. That’s where I’m at right now. I don’t pretend to know it all or actually anything at all. But here is what I do know-God is the ultimate winner and He’s on my side! What else do I need:)
