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Me of Little Faith

So I wasn’t even down to Georgia yet, and believe it or not, God was already working. You’re probably reading this thinking, “Duh Kelsey!!!” So I wrote in my blog the other day that I didn’t have enough money to be leaving this past weekend. I woke up on Thursday so upset that I was making myself sick. I was screaming at God all morning. How could He lead me to be part of Community Life and then turn his back and not supply the funds to get me to Georgia? I was completely lost! Why would God abandon me? I was after all coming down here to do His work, so why wasn’t it working out?! I spent the day mopping around. I tried to do anything to keep my mind off the fact that I wouldn’t be able to come down to Georgia on time. But it didn’t help. I just sat on the couch, extremely upset that God wasn’t working. Or rather God wasn’t working on ‘Kelsey time’. Little did I know He was working.

Later that afternoon I got a call from Amanda (my connection to AIM). I told her how I wouldn’t be able to come down because I was lacking the money. She asked how much I had, and I told her $2,267 but there was some more money coming I knew. She then told me the greatest news ever. She said that I could come down if I had $3,000. I nearly broke down crying. But I knew I was still $800 short. But that’s a lot better than having to come up with $2,000. I hung up the phone with a better outlook on life. And what would you know, in the mail that day I got checks for $800. So by the end of Thursday I had $3,067, just enough to leave! And since then, my money has just been coming in. I have nothing to worry about for a while.

So the lesson I learned from this, I have a serious lack of faith! I’m extremely ashamed to even admit that I was questioning God, but I was. I always thought it weird in the Bible when it says faith as small as a mustard seed can move mountains. I mean after all, that much faith is hardly anything at all. I mean look at the picture of the mustard seed to the left-it’s tiny!  Shouldn’t everyone have that amount of faith? Well that answer is no. I didn’t even have faith that God would get me my money on time. That’s such a trivial matter, and I still couldn’t completely rely on him. So sad! It gives me a new perspective on people who give their lives over to God. The faith that must take is amazing! They are the true heroes and role models that we should have.

So I leave this blog humbled by God’s amazingness, His complete control over my life no matter how small, and His love that He has for such a faithless person like me. Hopefully next time I’ll have a bit more faith, and maybe even some day, I’ll have faith as small as a mustard seed!

P.S. I just want to say thanks to all of you that have given me support, prayerfully and financially. The only reason I’m here right now is because of you. Everything that I have received has truly been a blessing. I know that God will bless your lives because of your support for me. Thanks once again!